Nothing hits as hard as life
“It ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keeping move forward”. Rocky Balboa
Seeing my wife become critically ill after a routine c section, was too much.
This was our seventh child and there had been multiple complications along the way that created a domino effect that lead to me mentally breaking. On what should have been the happiest time of my life, coming home with my wife and last son, the feelings of ecstasy and euphoria were replaced with numbness and sadness. I felt anger at the smallest of things and I became less tolerant. I could no longer sleep properly and felt tired all the time but my mind would not switch off. It tortured me with intrusive thoughts and how they would all be better off without me and self loathing and deep sadness.
That was two years ago and I have regular days where the dark clouds loom over head but where I used to wait for them I now try to enjoy the sunshine while it’s here, the dark clouds will come regardless!!....
I decided I would turn my pain into a positive and try to help and support other dads suffering Mental Health issues, attributed to birth and the perinatal period. I also wanted to offer advice and guidance antenatally to prepare parents for what might happen rather than treating what has!!..
57% of men with mental health problems are parents (Mental Health Foundation)
Dads are 47 times more likely to commit suicide in the perinatal period that at any other point (Fathers Reaching Out, Mark Williams, September 2020)
Considering suicide is the biggest killer of men under 50, in the UK, not enough light is shone on it. These are recorded figures and I feel they are far higher it’s just not talked about enough.
My aim is to normalise mental health, and Post Natal Depression in particular, by speaking about my experiences and helping improve services for parents. It’s not just for now, it’s an investment in the mental health of our children as they become the next generation of parents.
they need their future to be better than my past...