When Twin Pregnancy Feels Like Too Much
Pregnant with Twins and Feeling Overwhelmed
The truth about overwhelm, support, and learning to let go of perfection
When Katie walked into her first scan, she was expecting to see one baby and come away with that typical happy scan photo. But what she got instead was the words: “There’s two.”
Her reaction? Complete shock. She burst into tears. And rather than reassurance, she was hit with a wave of negativity. Comments from professionals about how “high risk” her pregnancy now was, and strangers chiming in with how “hard” life would be.
Instead of easing her fears, these conversations only added to them. Katie began to question herself: “Why do I feel like this?”
The Mental Load of a Twin Pregnancy
Katie already had a young child and a business to run. The news of twins wasn’t just surprising, it felt like too much. She didn’t want to tell people, because she didn’t want the forced excitement or the unwanted comments.
And when she did start to share the news? It was either, “Oh wow, how amazing!” (when she didn’t feel amazing) or “You’re in for it now!” (which only added to the fear).
It didn’t help that identical twin pregnancies are classed as high risk, meaning extra scans, constant monitoring, and being reminded at every appointment about what might go wrong. No one was asking how she was doing.
When You Don’t Feel Excited About Being Pregnant
There’s often a pressure to feel overjoyed about pregnancy. But Katie didn’t. She didn’t want to shop for baby clothes or show off her bump. She just wanted to get through each day.
Looking back, she realised she’d likely experienced prenatal depression, but at the time, no one picked it up. Not her healthcare team, not even herself. Because she was still functioning. Still showing up. Still “coping.”
How a Simple, Honest Conversation Changed Everything
One of the turning points came during a training day when she met a paediatrician who was also a mum of identical twins. During a break, that mum quietly said, “It’s a bit shit, isn’t it?”
That one moment of honesty gave Katie the permission she needed to feel what she was feeling. No sugar-coating. No judgment. Just someone saying, “I see you.”
Soon after, another mum in a supermarket said gently, “You do know it’ll be okay, right?” She looked at Katie with genuine warmth and admiration, and again, something shifted.
How Positive Support Helped Her Reframe Everything
As the weeks went on, Katie slowly began to see glimmers of light. She found her local twins community. She heard stories that reflected hers. She started to feel less alone.
By the time she reached 28 weeks, something had shifted. Her sickness had eased, she’d come to terms with having boys, and, most importantly, she’d begun to process what was happening.
It wasn’t all easy. Towards the end of her pregnancy, she faced potential hospital transfers, last-minute changes, and fears about where her babies would be born. But when her waters broke and she was told there were beds for her babies, the relief was overwhelming.
Finding Joy and Strength After a Difficult Birth
Katie’s birth didn’t go to plan. One twin needed help breathing. The first feeds weren’t given by her. But none of that mattered. Everyone was safe. Everyone was together.
Lying in her hospital room with both babies beside her, she felt a wave of love and pride. “I made two. I birthed two.” She felt a deep sense of gratitude that hadn’t been there the first time.
Letting Go of Perfection and Finding Your Own Way
Katie says her twins taught her how to be vulnerable. How to ask for help. How to trust herself.
She stopped striving for perfection and started doing what worked for her family. She let go of routines that didn’t serve them. She accepted help from school mums. And she stopped apologising for not doing it all.
Advice for Mums Pregnant with Twins
Katie now shares this advice with any mum who finds herself in a similar place:
- It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. You’re not a bad mum for struggling.
- Talk to someone, ideally, someone who’s walked this road before.
- Join a twin or multiples group (even if you're only 12 weeks along).
- Don’t let anyone shame you for your choices, whether it’s feeding, birth, or how you parent.
I'm A Super Mumma Because....
I have grown and birthed three children.
If you’ve just been told you’re having twins and it feels like the ground’s fallen away beneath you, you’re not broken, and you’re not alone. There are mums like Katie who’ve felt that same fear, that same grief for the pregnancy they thought they’d have.
And they’ve come out the other side with more strength than they ever thought possible.
About Katie Palmer
Katie Palmer is a sleep practitioner with over 25 years’ experience supporting families, from her early days as a nanny and maternity nurse to her current work with the NHS and CAMHS. NNEB and MNT trained, Katie holds advanced qualifications in infant sleep, reflux, and early allergies. As a mum of three (including twins) she understands the real-life challenges of parenting and is passionate about helping families create sleep routines that work for them. Based near Sevenoaks, she offers home visits across West Kent, East Surrey, West Sussex, and parts of London.
