Super Mumma Syndrome: The Burden of Motherhood

What Is Super Mumma Syndrome

The pressure of pursuing perfection by mothers

As mothers we can often feel pressure to 'have it all'. We have to be good mothers, good partners, good employees, good friends, good daughters, sisters... the list goes on. This pressure put on us by ourselves, society, family, friends, the kids leads us to think we should be Super Mumma.

I think every mother at multiple points in her journey, suffers with Super Mumma Syndrome. As a mum we wear a lot of different hats, and it is truly impossible to fulfil all the tasks required with each role, and carry them out to perfection. The trouble with Super Mumma Syndrome is that we also forget we can ask for help. The pressure to perform at such a high level of perfection partly comes from the sense that we have to achieve by ourselves. We are failures if we need help, or admit we are struggling and that is where the mental load gets to great and can cause maternal burnout, depression, anxiety.

Symptoms Of Super Mumma Syndrome

When Super Mumma Syndrome overwhelms us we can feel:

  • Feeling like you have to do everything and be everything for everyone in your family, without any help or support.

  • Constantly comparing yourself to other mothers and feeling like you're not measuring up.

  • Feeling guilty or anxious when you take time for yourself, even for basic self-care like exercise, rest or socializing.

  • Feeling overwhelmed by your daily responsibilities, with little to no time for your own interests or hobbies.

  • Striving for perfection in every aspect of your life, including your appearance, your children's behaviour, your home, and your career.

  • Constantly putting the needs of your family ahead of your own needs, and ignoring signs of burnout or stress.

  • Feeling like you're failing as a mother, even when others tell you that you're doing a great job.

It is important to note that if you feel any of these things, find support and talk. It could be to family, friends, health visitor, GP or to some of the amazing support networks out there like PANDAS Foundation.

How Can You Overcome Super Mumma Syndrome

Give Yourself A Break!! Take some time to yourself to reflect on how you are feeling. Where are the pressures coming from, where can they be relieved and where can you make time for mental rest.

Ask for help with tasks - You don't have to do everything yourself. Ask your partner, family members, or friends to help you with household chores or taking care of the kids.

Prioritize your tasks - Make a to-do list and rank your tasks according to their importance. Focus on the most critical tasks first and leave the less important ones for later.

Take care of yourself - Remember, you cannot fill from an empty cup. Make time for yourself, find something you enjoy. It could be yoga, art, singing, dancing, walking. Whatever brings you joy and time to switch off from the To-Do List.

Get help if you need it - Don't be afraid to seek professional help if you are struggling with stress, anxiety, or depression. There is no shame in asking for help.

Remove The Negativity - If you find social media etc leave you feeling inferior or you find yourself comparing yourself to other. Remove It, take a break and switch it off. It won't help you and will stop you building yourself back up.

Mental Unload - Give yourself a time to do a mental brain dump. This could be writing all the To-Do's in your head down, planning your week ahead or simple just writing all the thoughts in your head down to get them out and creating some mental space.

Here are some ways to relieve super mumma syndrome

The most important thing to remember is you don't have to be Super Mumma, you just have to be you. No mother really knows what she is doing, no mother truly has it all without sacrificing something ( usually herself) and no mother is perfect. Be kind to yourself, try not to let the pressure get to you and if it does, use your mental wellbeing toolkit to help bring you some balance and restoration.

i'm not super mumma, but i am a super mumma

Super Mumma

Ideas For Your Super Mumma Syndrome Toolkit